I stand before you broken.
Defeated.
Voiceless.
My life from this day forth must, by your request, fall in line with servitude.
Serving.
Waiting.
Existing simply to tend to the needs of others.
I can’t speak,
nay, I shouldn’t
for my words fall upon the earth
unheard.
I try to live my life within reason.
I try to accomplish my goals.
Today has proven my value
is
NOTHING
unless I do as I’m told.
A person I am without you.
As a soul, and character I exist.
Yet you’ve managed to twist and manipulate
my freedom,
my rest,
my life.
Today, I sat in a room and bared my soul in hopes of finally stepping into the life that I should be living. I’ve tried countless times to breathe air back into my lungs, to pry myself off of the floor when everything weighs upon me.
I’ve tried. I’ve tried so hard to be myself, to be true to my soul, but today, once again, I was crushed.
I want to stand in the forest and scream like a toddler “IT’S NOT FAIR!!!” but where will that get me? Scattered birds, and frightened critters do not deserve my frustrations, and fears.
I’m trying though. I’m trying to understand why someone has power over me. They shouldn’t. They don’t.
They do.
THEY DO!
This Tungsten cage is crushing me. My jaw aches from attempting to gnaw my way out with words of logic, words of truth, and of hope.
Hope?
I have none.
I’m trapped. Defeated. Stuck.
But I don’t have to be.
Today I stood my ground and tried to gain my freedom.
Once again,
I was denied.
It’s not for good behaviour that I’m kept within these walls.
My actions, and my words are judged with distaste, and displeasure. I’m not good enough; trust me, that’s been well ingrained in my mind.
I’m not good enough to be wanted, but I’m also not worth letting go.
I’m not good enough.
I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
I hear the words. I see the actions. I know my place in this cage.
What they don’t know is that I’m stronger than any cage. I’m stronger than any words.
I am strong!
Right now, my breath. is held for me, but my wings are not clipped.
Right now, my teeth are strung for me, but my tongue can still whip!
Right now, someone believes in control, but I believe in freedom.
Beautifully Broken 