It’s the month of March. I guess I should lower my expectations about ever being able to get through the days without something dragging me down…Day after calendar day something thrusts my memory into a brick wall of pain.
The days that don’t carry boulder-sized burdens never remain empty. They, like dustbins fill up quickly and overflow with struggles. It’s all so much that I just want to stand and scream until my voice is drained, and I no longer have energy to care about what’s going on.
I can’t do that. I WON’T do that. Strength is just a hat we wear when we need to get things done. Mine is sewn on tightly, knitted into the roots of my hair so strongly it clings to my brain.
I am strong. I don’t have a choice to be anything else.
I’ve been called weak many times before, but where others find weakness, there is strength getting me through my daily grind.
Oh how I despise the month of March though. One day. There is ONE day that shines through all the shit that universe has thrown my way, and I’m grateful for that ray of sunshine.
March though. Every year I beg my brain and body to feel differently, but as if by memory alone, as the days of February draw to a close, March lands in my lap like an anvil. I could rip every March out of my calendars. I could call in sick every day for weeks, but nothing will make the month any better.
So, I function. I do whatever needs to be done. I smile when smiles are needed. I laugh. I dance. I carry on like a tightrope walker with a migraine. I do what needs to be done because I’m strong.
I AM STRONG!!!!
Do you hear me?!